


Back to Normal

by iamphanaf (taylorann14)



Series: Stumbling [1]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Cliche, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, M/M, it's exactly what you think
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-08
Updated: 2015-07-31
Packaged: 2018-04-08 08:58:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 10,905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4298655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/taylorann14/pseuds/iamphanaf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Dan joins Phil on a family vacation to Florida, Phil's mother thinks they've finally gotten together, Dan panics and goes along with it...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Day 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm a SUCKER for fake relationship fics, they fuel me.  
> This is just full of clichés and I would apologize if I was sorry.  
> (*copies my disclaimer from my other fic bc I'm lazy af*)
> 
> Just a quick note to say that Dan and Phil are real people and these are just fictional characters based on them. I'm glad that they don't seem to mind us writing fics about them, though.

“I’m glad you’re coming with me” Phil said, poking Dan in the arm.  
He took the headphone out of one of his ear, “Yeah?”  
“Yeah, I mean you’re the closest person to me, it’s always weird going on family vacations without having you there.”  
“Oh god. You’re getting sentimental and it’s gross,” Dan scrunched up his nose… mainly to hide a smile. Most of their friendship was unspoken— they just clicked so naturally there was nothing to talk about— so he found strange comfort in reassurance in occasionally hearing that yeah, he really was Phil’s best friend.  
“Shut up,” Phil rolled his eyes.  
“You shut up, Hiro’s about to apprehend the man in the mask,” Dan retorted, nudging Phil in the side.  
Phil turned his eyes back to the screen with a small smile and they continued watching until Dan fell asleep resting on Phil’s shoulder.  
He didn’t wake up until they landed.

- 

When they arrived at their hotel room, they began to settle in when Dan realized something, “Hey Phil, why would your mum book us a room with only one bed?”  
“I don’t… know.” Phil looked around, puzzled, as if another bed might materialize if he looked for it. “We can go down to reception and ask for a double room, or I’ll sleep on a cot, I don’t mind.”  
“No, like, we’ve shared a bed before, it’s not a big deal. I just don’t understand why your mum would book us a single…”  
Phil just shrugged, “Maybe it was an accident.”  
“Yeah, probably.” Dan brushed off the invasive thoughts that were poking at him and began to unpack the essentials. He jumped when Phil’s phone rang.

Phil picked up, “Ello?… Yeah!…. Yeah that sounds good….. Okay, love you.  
“Mum’s here?” Dan asked when Phil hung up.  
“Yeah! Dinner in an hour okay?”  
“Sounds good, I think I’m gonna shower, get some of this plane off me.”  
Phil nodded, “Enjoy your shower.”  
“Shut up,” Dan snorted, making his way to the bathroom.

 -

“Where are we going?” Dan asked later, fidgeting with his hair as they headed out the door.  
“Actually just across the street, there’s this really nice restaurant mum wants to go to.”  
“What’s the occasion?” he asked Phil.  
“I’m not sure, I think she might have some news? We’ll find out, I guess,” he shrugged.  
Dan internally sighed. He was slightly more worked up about this than he should have been, he wasn’t even sure if Phil saw it as strange… the single bed, the dressing up for a fancy restaurant. He wondered if maybe this was normal for the Lester clan, but he couldn’t help but feel like something was amiss.

Though he knew he had probably shouldn’t be, Dan was slightly worried about dinner. It went smoothly despite his hesitations, Phil’s family had always been very welcoming of him, even when he had first met Phil. (Mrs. Lester had been particularly fond of him, herself.)

“I’m so glad you finally decided to settle down, Phil,” his mum said after they’d finished eating. “I couldn’t think of a better companion for you than Daniel… You know your father and I were starting to think you’d never figure it out! I always knew you were perfect for each other, you know.” She smiled fondly, turning to Dan,  
“I don’t think there’s anyone better suited for my boy than you! Do you have a date picked out yet?”  
“Uhhmm..” Dan looked at Phil, who looked just about as confused as he was.  
“Oh Phil I’ve been waiting for this for so long, I’m so happy for you! I’m happy to help in any way I can, you know.” She dabbed at her eyes with the edge of a napkin.  
Phil looked utterly heartbroken as looked up at his mother, “Mum, we’re not—“  
“Used to talking about it.” Dan interrupted, his own voice slightly surprising himself. “We obviously haven’t gone public yet,” he nudged Phil’s foot with his own under the table and cleared his throat. “None of our friends know yet. I’m glad you approve, I care about Phil very much, you know that much has always been true.”  
“I uh—“ Phil mumbled.  
“Has been at a loss for words.” Dan continued, worried his smile was probably manic and forced. “And honestly so have I.” He tried to hide the panic in his voice as he looked at Phil who looked positively befuddled. “It’s been an adventure, that’s for sure.”  
Phil nodded slowly. The same panic in Dan’s eyes reflected in his own, he hoped it might pass off as excitement.  
Dan placed a hand over Phil’s and smiled, relaxing as the conversation took a different turn when Phil’s brother, Martyn, asked a question about their tour.

 

They silently walked back to their room after dinner.  
When the door closed, there was silence until Phil finally spoke up, “What just happened?”  
“I uh… Panicked.”  
“So you told my mum that we’re engaged?” Phil asked, he simply sounded curious.  
“You looked so upset that you were gonna have to correct her!” Dan said nervously, burying his face in his hands, “I’m so sorry, oh god.”  
Phil took a step closer to him, eyeing him curiously. “You told my mum we’re engaged…” he said.  
“Just punch me in the face and get it over with, I’ll tell her tomorrow,” he groaned.  
Phil exhaled and wrapped Dan up in a hug, much to his surprise.  
“Uh?”  
“Thank you. Seriously, I could not have dealt with the look on her face if I had to tell her she misunderstood,”  
“Sure?” He started wandering around the room, pacing absentmindedly, “Uh… stupid question probably, but… we’re not going to actually get married, are we?”  
“No, we just need to keep up the ruse until the vacation’s over. We can ‘break up’ in a few months.”  
“Okay. Are you sure this is a good idea?”  
“Absolutely.”  
Dan wasn’t so sure, but he ultimately trusted Phil’s judgement, so he was on board for the ride.  
After taking a breath, trying to process everything that had just occurred, he sat back down on the edge of the bed, “Why did your mum think we’re engaged anyway?”  
“I told her I had some exciting news about me and you and I guess she just assumed..?” he trailed off, looking like he was trying to solve a complicated riddle. He exhaled deeply and looked over at Dan, “I’m sorry.”  
“Phil, it’s okay. It’s not your fault, and we’ll figure it out.”  
“Thanks, Dan.”  
He just nodded, “Let’s get ready for bed, eh? We have to get an early start tomorrow.”

 

“Hey Dan?” Phil called from the bathroom, rinsing his mouth and putting his toothbrush back in its case.  
“Hmm?”  
“If we’re fake engaged, we’re probably gonna have to practice being physically comfortable with each other,” he said.  
“There’s no one I’m more physically comfortable with? Like… I sit close to you and stuff. And you know, I hate people,” he joked.  
“I mean like… We should probably be more affectionate, yeah? Like hold hands.”  
“Or kiss?”  
“Probably.”  
“Oh,” Dan felt his face heating up. “Really?” He was slightly embarrassed that Phil had taken him seriously.  
“I mean if we’re going to be a convincing couple, we should probably kiss, right?”  
Dan nodded.  
“So, logically, we should probably practice, don’t you think?” Phil said nonchalantly.  
“I have never seen someone proposition me to kiss them with such a casual expression on their face.”  
“Sorry,” he smirked. He took two steps and stood right in front of him, “Can I kiss you, Daniel?”  
Dan nodded, trying to play it off by rolling his eyes, but then Phil was leaning in and it hit him that they were about to kiss.  
‘Locate your chill, Dan,’ he thought to himself, ‘we’re doing this to convince his mum that we’re really dating, it’s not a big deal.’  
Dan moved his hand to softly cup Phil’s jaw, running his thumb along his cheek.  
Phil stepped closer and pressed his lips against Dan’s. He might have been embarrassed at the involuntary sigh he let out had Phil not hummed and wrapped his arms more tightly around him in response.  
“Are we gonna kiss like this in front of your mother?” Dan teased when they broke apart moments later.  
“No, but it will make the pecking more believable.”  
Dan raised his eyebrows.  
“Trust me,” Phil said, kissing Dan softly once more.


	2. Day 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow thank you for the kind, encouraging comments and the kudos!~  
> You're all lovely and thank you for waiting on me!

The next day, on their way to Universal Studios, he looked lovingly at Phil as he rambled on to his mum about their lives back home and Dan tried to focus his attention anywhere aside from Phil’s lips.

Phil's mum placed a hand to her heart, “I’m just so glad you’re happy, Phil.” She glanced between them, “So you never told the story, who proposed to whom?”  
Dan wondered what deity he had pissed off to make her ask that question in a cramped car where it wasn’t exactly easy to change the subject or try to distract her with something else.  
“I did!” he blurted.  
Phil glanced at him with that slightly worried expression, Dan responded with a reassuring hand on his knee, despite the fact that he was mentally kicking himself for not being able to keep his mouth shut.  
“Yeah it was all very… you know.” he accompanied this with a vague hand gesture.  
She was not satisfied, apparently, and neither was whatever deity had this _vendetta_ against him, because she looked at him expectantly, “Well tell me all about it!”  
“Mum, Dan doesn’t need to—“  
“It’s okay, Phil.” he smiled, thanking his lucky stars that he had youtube and enjoyed acting when he was young and was able to at least keep a straight face. “Uh.. let’s see it was about three months ago. Not exactly planned. I had been thinking about it but I hadn’t made a proper plan or got a ring at the time. We were sitting on the sofa and I just turned to him and asked.” He took Phil’s hand in his and pecked him on the cheek, “I did apologize about not getting a ring, but.. he didn’t seem to mind too much at the time.” he nudged Phil and winked.  
“No I was just happy to know that I would be spending the rest of my life with my best friend.”  
The fond smile on Phil’s face gave Dan a lump in his throat and he wasn’t 100% certain he wouldn’t cry, so he just nodded and looked down at his shoes.  
Phil grabbed his hand and pressed a kiss to the top of it.  
“Oh my boys, I am so happy for you two,” Phil’s mum dabbed at her eyes. “I’m so glad he found you,” she told Dan.  
The threat of real tears was becoming higher and higher, so he just nodded with a quiet, “Me too.”

-

They had a proper excuse for not being too close to each other in public, so he didn’t have to worry about being more affectionate than usual once they were out of the car, which was a relief. Not that Dan minded, per se, it was just slightly overwhelming dealing with everything at once.

As they explored Universal, Dan learned about some of the annual traditions of the Lester Florida Trip, and took any and every opportunity to flirt obnoxiously with Phil.  
Stopping to get ice cream after lunch was one of the things the Lester clan did every time they found themselves at Universal Studios. They sat and enjoyed their frozen treats under an umbrella, safe from the scorching heat of the Florida sun.

  
Each time Phil’s parents were engaged in conversation or their attention was generally elsewhere, Dan would do inappropriate things with his tongue to the ice cream and seductively look at Phil. At one point, the ice cream was dripping down the cone, so he caught it with the tip of his tongue and slowly licked his way up the entire cone, keeping eye contact with him the entire time. Phil kicked his shin under the table. He knew he probably deserved that one, but it was so amusing to see Phil turn that shade of red.

Aside from the excessive flirting, however, the day passed mostly normally until later in the night when they were all sat in a circle playing apples to apples on Phil’s parents’ hotel floor.

Dan had been ranting about why his card was obviously the supreme card when Phil interrupted him with a kiss.  
“Yes, yes, you’re very clever, stop being a sore loser” he’d said afterward.  
It had rolled off his tongue so casually, Dan was still slightly shell shocked that he’d been kissed without warning. And without consequence. Martyn was making exaggerated gagging noises, so Dan just rolled his eyes, “Do you even know me, Phil Lester?” he huffed. “I wouldn’t be me if I wasn’t being a sore loser.”  
And the game went on as before.  
Phil won, of course.  
Dan’s pouty lips earned him another peck on the lips.  
He wasn’t sure he minded losing so much.

—

When Phil’s mum decided to turn in, they said their goodnights and made plans to meet in the morning for brunch before their endeavor to the beach.

Once they were situated and ready to sleep, Dan rolled over to get comfortable and found himself slightly awkwardly eye-to-eye with Phil.

“Hi,” Phil whispered obnoxiously.  
“Hey?” Dan answered.  
“Can I kiss you again?” he asked, his voice back to a more regular volume.  
“Why?” Well that was the dumbest thing he could have said. He made a mental note to his future self not to question it next time.  
“Practice?” he ventured with a sly smile.  
Dan was only inches away from his lips, so all he had to do was move forward slightly, and just like that, they were kissing again. Kissed that smirk right off his face. He wasn’t quite sure why they were kissing— the practice excuse, of course, was a load of horseradish— but he was tired, it was late, kissing was nice, and he didn’t feel much like thinking.

It was just five more days, it couldn’t hurt anything.


	3. Day 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beaches, adventures, board games, and... kissing?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is so much cliché fluff, just... fluff. I would apologize for the length of the chapter, but ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

Basking in the sunshine was one of Dan’s favourite things. As he rested on the beach, he soaked up the rays and allowed himself to relax. ‘I don’t want things to go back to normal’ he thought to himself as he looked over at Phil.  
He wondered if he could calculate the probability of how cliché it was that, on top of everything, Phil knew of a secret-ish beach that was particularly secluded. Or the probability that it was supposed to be cloudy on their one day they had planned to go to the beach and the sun came out anyway. Maybe the likelihood was higher than he thought, and maybe that’s why cliché things happened.

“Hey Phil?”  
He turned his head “Hm?”  
Dan leaned over and kissed him. “You’re mum’s walking over here,” he said quietly, “And she doesn’t know I saw her.” He smiled and kissed his ‘fiancé’ once more, trying to get over that initial awkward feeling of uncertainty and mild fear of rejection.

“Hey boys!” his mother called. Dan feigned embarrassment and half waved at her.  
“We’re thinking about doing lunch, care to join us?”  
“We’ll catch up!” Phil said, “I wanna take Daniel sight seeing this afternoon.”  
His mum just winked and left them be. “Alright meet for dinner?”  
“Yup!” Phil answered.

“What sights are we seeing, then?” Dan asked.  
“I like this one, for now.” Phil beamed at him.  
“Oh my god, actually shut up.” he rolled his eyes.  
“Make me,” Phil playfully nudged Dan’s shoulder with his own.  
“You know what people say about when someone says ‘make me,’ right? It’s like code for ‘make out with me.’”  
“Or you just wanna make out with me, so that’s where your brain went.”  
He accompanied this brilliant theory with an eyebrow wiggle that made Dan roll his eyes again.  
“Shut up.”  
“Make me.” he challenged.  
Dan decided to play into whatever the hell this was because maybe it doesn’t count because they’re in London, but instead of London it’s actually Florida.  
At least he tried to tell himself that as he found himself making out with his best friend.

Dan may have started the kiss, but Phil quickly took the lead, leaning over him and biting on his bottom lip.  
Dan pulled back a second, “You’re gonna get sand in my hair…”  
“Do you care?” Phil asked.  
“On second thought, not at all,”  
“Good.” He smiled that mischievous smile that took Dan back to when they first met and he suddenly didn’t want to wait a second longer to get his lips on him.  
Unfortunately the universe decided to take that moment and ruin it completely when Phil’s brother cleared his throat from a few feet away.  
“Uh. Mum still had your room key,” He awkwardly walked over and held it out to them. “Looks like you might need it,” he snickered.  
“Get out of here, Martyn,” Phil groaned, taking the key and sitting up, brushing the sand off of him and extending a hand to help Dan up.  
  
“Later,” Phil whispered to him as his brother walked off.  
While he was disappointed the moment had been ruined, he told himself it was for the better. On the off chance they happened to be caught making out in the sand on a sequestered part of the beach… he wasn’t quite sure how he would combat those rumors. Especially if someone got photo evidence.  
“So sight seeing?” Dan prompted, hoping he could pass off the blush on his cheeks as a sunburn.  
“Yeah,” Phil sighed, standing up and extending a hand to help Dan up, “I’ve got a few ideas for the day.”  
“Where to first?” he asked, pulling on a shirt.  
Phil followed suit, “So we come here every year, I usually take a day to myself if I can. Even if it’s just part of the day, I like to see what’s around. That’s how I found that little area of beach that no one goes to. Anyway, I found this café like three years ago that’s honestly probably closed because I look for it every time and can never seem to find it.”  
“So are we going to continue your annual search for this mystery café?”  
“Yes. But we’re also going to get saltwater taffy and buy loads of american candy to take home with us.”  
“And then what?”  
“Lunch at some point, there’s this cajun restaurant like 15 minutes from the hotel we can go to. Otherwise we’ll just meet up with everyone for dinner and more games later."  
“Alright, lead the way,”  
Phil smiled brightly and thus began their adventure.

They didn’t talk about the kiss, or the fake engagement. They fell into their regular flow of conversation quite quickly. They always did, it was something Dan was very grateful for; Phil knew when to be quiet and when he should say something, and he seemed to always have some sort of conversation starter up his sleeve when it was needed.

After wandering around for 30 minutes in search of this mystery café, they found themselves in a heated discussion about sporks.  
“Phil, they’re utterly useless! There isn’t enough fork for it to be useful and it barely functions as a spoon either.  
“You’re a spoon.” Phil quipped.  
“You’re a spork,” he countered.  
“Wow, I never knew you thought so little of me.”  
“You know I don’t,” Dan nudged his shoulder fondly against Phil’s.  
Phil nudged back, “Spoon.”

They made their way to the restaurant with a bit of directional help from a Floridian, and took their seats in the back corner booth, seeing as though it was particularly packed at noon on a Friday. “Why do we always seem to go to lunch at the busiest times?” Phil whined.  
“The universe hates us, remember?”  
Phil groaned.  
“It’s alright, it shouldn’t be too long to wait for our food.”  
“I know, I’m just feeling impatient, I guess. Maybe since I know how delicious it is and I just need it in my mouth.”  
“That’s what she said… Wanna play a game until our food gets here?”  
Phil giggled at the stupid joke, “What kind of game?”  
“The best kind,” Dan paused dramatically for effect, “a mind game.”  
“Oh no,”  
“Oh yes! We're gonna play two truths, one lie," he declared.  
“Do we have to?”  
“No.”  
“Okay you start.”  
Dan smirked. He knew Phil would enjoy the distraction. 

—

After a day of exploring and more board games with the Lesters, the two retreated back to their room, particularly exhausted from the day’s activities.

“Thanks for today, it was fun!” Phil flashed a huge grin at him, leaving him slightly rouge.  
“Yeah, it was.”  
“I’m glad you tagged along on my pointless adventures.”  
“Not pointless,” Dan reminded him. “We had a great time.”  
“I always have a great time with you,” Phil placed a kiss to Dan’s cheek, right at the moment Dan turned to look at him, so it ended up being more of a half kiss than any sort of anything.  
“You turnip, you missed,” Dan taunted.  
“Sorry, shall I try again?” Phil asked sarcastically.  
“I think that’s only fair.” he answered sincerely.  
Phil rolled his eyes and leaned in to Dan’s cheek, but Dan stopped him, reaching up to tilt Phil’s head slightly and kissing him softly on the lips. “That’s better…” he smiled.  
“Do you enjoy kissing me?”  
Dan looked away and gave a noncommittal chuckle, unsure of what he should say to that.  
“Dan?”  
What did he have to lose? He drew a breath, “Yeah, ‘course I do.”  
“You could just say so,” he poked Dan in the side.  
“Hey!” he interjected, glaring at him.  
“So… do I have permission to kiss you again?” Phil asked.  
“Definitely,” he said, the response tumbling out of his mouth before he had a chance to think of what he was saying.

However, he was confident there was no other way he would have responded to such a question, no matter how much time he was given to think about it. Kissing in general had always been something he enjoyed, but kissing Phil was something else. It wasn’t even awkward.. he felt it was much more why-haven’t-we-ever-done-this-before than anything else.

Phil took that step, taking Dan’s face in his hands and kissing him, hard.  
Phil’s lips were insistent on his own and he'd pulled Dan flush against his body.

Dan had a thing for Phil at first, when they’d met, but it never went anywhere; so they were best friends and that was that.  
All was well, because Phil had always been the best thing in Dan’s world, even from the beginning…. But that didn’t mean he was in love with him or anything. Or ever thought about kissing him.  
Okay— maybe when he was really sad or generally lonely he thought about what it might be like, but he never seriously considered that it might actually happen. So having Phil here, actually kissing him, was a bit surreal.

Phil pulled back slightly and looked at him, “Stop thinking, just… You can just be here with me.” he said quietly. “We can talk about it or forget about it tomorrow, yeah? We can live a little while we’re on holiday…. You’re supposed to do fun things while you’re away, right?” he asked playfully.

Dan didn’t bother answering, he just went right back to kissing Phil, throwing the last of his inhibitions out the window.

He wasn’t sure he could possibly forget this ever, but he could at least wait until tomorrow to deal with that.


	4. Day 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone goes to Disneyland and Dan can pretty much only think about kissing Phil. (But who can blame him tbh)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sure Phil's brother IRL is a snowflake, but for the purpose of my story I've made him into kind of a grump. But, as is obvious, this is just fictional rambling anyway... 
> 
> OTHERWISE JUST FLUFF AND KISSING AND CINNAMON SUGAR.  
> But I must warn you, the angst is coming very soon, kids.

Dan woke with a start to the x files theme song blaring in his ear. Phil squinted and grappled for his phone, hitting Dan in the face in doing so.  
“Aawwh!” Dan groaned. “Watch it, and why is that your alarm?”  
“Sorry,” Phil switched off his alarm and buried his face in the pillow.  
Dan pulled the covers over his eyes, “10 more minutes.”  
Phil rubbed his eyes and stretched. “I’ll shower first, then,” he offered.  
But Dan was already asleep again.

He woke again to the sight of Phil, all wet hair and towel hanging loosely on his hips, walking out of the bathroom.  
“Hey,” he said, unsure if it was the sleep in his voice or something else entirely that made it come out so low and sultry, but Phil just quirked an eyebrow.  
“Good morning to you, too, sleepyhead.”  
“Do I have to get up?” he whined.  
“Yeah, you slept 20 extra minutes.”  
“What if,” Dan flailed his arms until he grabbed ahold of Phil’s arm as he walked past, “I don’t feel like getting up. And I want some physical affection from my fake fiancé before I have to keep my hands off him while we’re at Disney World all day?”  
“That is the most roundabout way to ask me to cuddle with you ever.” Phil grabbed his clothes from the suitcase and kissed Dan on the forehead, “One sec.”  
Dan smiled and closed his eyes,  
He returned in a moment, clad in boxer shorts and a tee shirt, snuggling under the duvet with Dan.

“You’re warm.” Phil said a few minutes later.  
“You’re cozy.”  
“YOU need to get up soon.”  
“Your mum needs to get up soon,” he grumbled.  
“My mum is awake and asking when we’ll be ready for breakfast.”  
Dan sighed, “Fiiineee.”

He rolled out of bed and yawned, “I’d much rather stay in bed with you.”  
“Oh, that’s a bit forward,” Phil giggled.  
“Oh my god, shut up,” he grabbed a tee shirt and jeans from the dresser, “I mean it, I just… I like being close to you is all. I mean, we HAVE both been pretty busy lately, it’s just… nice,” he shrugged and walked into the bathroom.  
“Well, likewise,” Phil called.  
Dan smiled to himself as he brushed his teeth and got ready for the day.

He wasn’t sure if his lack of physical affection over the last few years had sparked new emotions in him or if he was discovering some deep seeded, undying love for his best friend, but all he wanted to do was be near Phil. Logically, it could just be that he had missed the feeling of being held or forgotten how much he’d loved kissing or something. Or possibly since they’d both been occupied as of late, they hadn’t had quite as much time just to hangout together, and he just missed his best friend. But there was also the very real possibility that the feelings he’d tried to swallow all that time ago never really went away. He thought about it sometimes, how odd it was that neither of them dated other people, but he was content with their life together. They had their routine and they had each other and, for Dan, that was all that ever mattered. Phil had been a part of his long term plans since the start, it never occurred to him that that might be odd.

He tried to just ignore all of it and not read into anything; everything would go back to normal in, like, three days anyway. He figured he might as well just enjoy Disneyland and not try to make a big deal out of what might turn out to be nothing.

He pulled on his shirt and walked back into the room, “Phil?”  
“Yeah?”  
He took a deep breath, “Ready?”  
“Oh.. yeah! Let’s go.”

—

It went like this: partway through the day, Phil’s parents wanted to ride the teacups, Martyn wanted to do literally anything else, and Phil was hell bent on getting a churro. So they split ways and agreed to meet back on Main Street in an hour for a traditional american ballpark experience.

The park wasn’t all that busy due to the rain, so when they walked into one of the sweet shops, it wasn’t too surprising that it was nearly empty.  
Dan got a churro for Phil, a pastry for himself, and water for the both of them, and they took the same side of a booth against the back wall.  
“Phil, you’ve got cinnamon sugar on your face,” Dan pointed out.  
He grinned, “Wanna taste?”  
“Phil!” he whisper-yelled.  
“The last person in here just walked out, and the cashier just went to the back.” He looked at him challengingly.  
Dan hesitated but leaned over and kissed him, lightly sucking the cinnamon sugar off his lips. He pulled back slowly, much to his own disappointment. “We should probably get going if we’re gonna try to go on a ride before we have to head back to Main.”  
He wasn’t sure if he imagined the blush on Phil’s cheeks.  
“Yeah,” he smiled. “C'mon.”

—

In no time at all, they found themselves at Casey’s Corner back with the rest of the Lesters.  
“How were the teacups?” Dan asked them.  
“Fun!” Mr. Lester replied.  
“I wanted to make sure we rode them before we ate!” his wife chimed in, “And what did you two get up to?”  
“We found churros and went through the Haunted Mansion again.” Dan said.  
“Yeah, remind me to get another one of those before we go,” Phil added, turning to Dan.  
Yeah it was pretty delicious," he agreed. He felt a blush creeping to his cheeks as he thought about that situation repeating itself. "So, we're in America, time to live the closest thing to the American Dream as we can, eh?"   
"Spoon," Phil rolled his eyes.  
"Spork." Dan retorted.  
"Oh my god, you're gross, just go make out already," Martyn rolled his eyes.  
"Martyn," his mother chided, "Leave them be, there's no need to be grouchy just because your girlfriend had to work this week, you know. And besides, Phil has finally found someone to settle down with. Be happy for him!"  
"Yeah, be happy for me," Phil poked his tongue out at his brother.  
"You've been together since like 2009, so I don't know if I would say it qualifies for a _'finally_.'"  
"No we haven't," Dan interjected.  
"What about that one time I walked into your room and you guys were sn--"  
"It's not the time for that," Phil interrupted. He sounded upset. Rightfully so, since neither of them had mentioned that day since it happened.  
"How about we stop talking about this _in public_ ," Dan whispered angrily.

Martyn shot him an apologetic look and opted to go order the food. He even stopped at the candy stand and got some whoppers as a peace offering for Dan, "I know they're not Maltesers, but they're the American equivalent."  
"Thanks," Dan said, accepting the apology and the candy. As they enjoyed the ragtime tunes and their lunch, the silence turned from awkward to comfortable, and everything was just fine.

—

After the fireworks, when it came time for the day to end, Phil stopped in one last shop and then it was time to go. Dan was rather disappointed that they only had the one day at the Magic Kingdom; he would have loved to have spent more time exploring.

“So Dan,” Phil said, taking his hand as they walked into their room, “I got something,”  
“What’s that?”  
“A churro.” he beamed.  
“Phil!” he covered his face, “Are you serious?”  
“What‽ They’re delicious!” he said, smiling like an idiot and taking a bite.  
“Phil,” he warned.  
“You wanna try it?” he teased.  
Two could play at that game. Looking him dead in the eyes, Dan stood and backed Phil against a wall. He reached down slowly, without breaking eye contact, and took Phil’s hand— the one with the churro— in his own. Still staring directly into his eyes, he licked up the side of the churro and took a bite of it, grinning devilishly.  
“That’s not what I meant!”  
In an attempt to keep his composure and avoid choking, he tried not to laugh too hard as he finished chewing. “You should have seen your face, oh my god,” Dan swallowed and laughed even harder.  
Phil rolled his eyes, “That is NOT what I thought you were going to do.”  
“Oh I’m sorry,” Dan frowned in mock sympathy, “What did you think I was going to do, Phil?”  
Phil just rolled his eyes and captured Dan’s lips in a kiss.  
Dan kissed back, licking the cinnamon sugar off the other’s lips, first the top and then the bottom one. Phil parted his lips and Dan took the opportunity to slip his tongue into his mouth, deciding that Phil moaning was probably the hottest thing he’d ever heard, and that cinnamon sugar had never tasted better.


	5. Day 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan is beginning to realize this trip is over half over and he's not too pleased about it...  
> ((which means they cuddle and there's fluff up the wazoo))

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for sticking with this story and for all the feedback!~ You're all amazing, each comment/kudos just makes me so happy. 
> 
> The next chapter will be 100% angst, but I promise it will be resolved.  
> Thanks, loves! We're nearing the end. x
> 
> (PS, I'm leaving on vacation for a week, so there may be a bit of a wait for the next chapters. Unless I get some time while I'm there! We'll see. But I didn't want anyone to worry, the story will NOT go unfinished!)

When Dan opened his eyes in the morning, he found a sleeping Phil’s arms wrapped securely around his middle. As Phil’s arms tightened around him, he snuggled back into him, closing his eyes, taking these few blissful moments to enjoy the closeness before Phil woke up.  
Phil stirred 15 minutes later. “Hey, Phil.”  
“Look who’s awake at a decent time!” he laughed.  
Dan found he was particularly fond of Phil’s sleepy voice. “Leave me alone,” he grabbed Phil’s glasses from the nightstand and turned to him, “How’d you sleep?”  
“Mmm, peachy actually,” Phil yawned, “You?”  
“Great, actually. Here’s your glasses, you fell asleep with them on.”  
“And you took them off of me?” Phil asked, returning them to their rightful place on his face.  
“I didn’t want you to roll over and crush them in your sleep, you titan.”  
“You’re taller than me!” he reminded him.  
“Still!”  
“Well thanks,” he smiled.  
Dan leaned over and kissed him softly, “You’re welcome.”  
“I probably have morning breath,” Phil covered his mouth.  
“Mmm, me too.” Dan ran his hand through Phil’s hair and down the side of his jaw, “But I’m too tired to care.” Resting his hand behind Phil’s neck, he leaned in once more and pressed another kiss to his lips.  
“Can’t we just gonna skip Epcot?” Phil asked, kissing him again.  
“You were just right there, and how rude would it be not to kiss my fiancé good morning?” he gasped. “And you think I’m going to keep you away from your family on your vacation‽ What kind of life partner do you think I am?” he asked, hand to his heart.  
Phil just shook his head, “Okay drama queen.”

—

Thinking back on the day, Dan should have realized it was odd that he found it harder to keep his hands off Phil than it was to, later, practically be sitting in his lap as they ended the day with a family Disney movie. He also shouldn’t have been so thrilled to hear Mrs. Lester tell him to call her ‘mum.’ To be fair, he figured he had been in love with Phil all along, he had just become a master at ignoring it— so much so that he forgot he was in love at all.

And yet, here he was. All day at Epcot, he had to keep from reaching for Phil’s hand, and the only way he had enough willpower to even do that was to remind himself that a viewer might see and snap a photo. He figured Phil’s family didn’t want to see him basically in his believed-fiancé’s lap, but he also knew that the trip was over half over and he figured it didn’t count because it was Florida, and he might as well enjoy this while he had it.  
He took a bit of extra time washing his hands before he had to go out and see Phil and sleep on the other side of the bed from him— there was no way he could make up some excuse for cuddling that made any sense.

“You were all clingy today,” Phil mentioned.  
“Oh… sorry”  
“No it was kind of adorable, and very believable,” he appraised.  
“Yeah?”  
“Mhmm.”  
“I’m quite good at.. clingy,” he said.  
“Yeah?” Phil smiled. “Get over here and prove it,” he shrugged.  
Dan tried to look less like an over eager puppy and more like a nonchalant badass as he walked over, pulled off his shirt, and plopped into bed.  
Phil was resting against the headboard in a sitting position, scrolling through twitter on his phone. Dan scooted in close and wrapped his arms around Phil’s middle, who smiled and rested his arm on Dan. “You look adorable,” Phil said.  
“I’m not adorable. Fear me.”  
“Yeah, yeah. You're not helping your case, here... and did you forget that I knew you at 18? Adorable then, adorable now. Non-negotiable.” He held out his phone in front of them and before Dan could register what was happening, he heard the shutter.  
“Phil are you really taking selfies right now?”  
“Yes, this is too cute not to document.”  
“You are embarrassing me.”  
“Smile, Dan!”  
He groaned and cuddled closer and Phil continued snapping photos. “Stoooop.”  
“No!” Phil giggled.  
Dan narrowed his eyes and pulled up Phil’s shirt blowing raspberries on Phil’s stomach, “Ya know how this is gonna look, do you really want these photos to exist?”  
“Yep and I’m still not gonna stop,” he said between laughs, pushing Dan off of him.  
Dan shifted and pressed his lips to Phil’s and heard the shutter click again.  
“Two can play at that game, Howell… I think you’re under the impression that I have shame,” he smirked.  
This could be dangerous territory.  
Phil leaned up and pressed a wet kiss to Dan’s neck. Click.  
“That was uncalled for!”  
“That was completely called for,” he argued.  
“Put your camera away, you loon, I gotta shower,” Dan laughed, shoved a pillow in his face, and retreated quickly to the bathroom, grabbing a towel in his haste. He was surprised he was able to keep his composure, and he wondered if maybe Phil caught on to the reason for his quick get away.  
He took a few calming breaths and turned on the shower, ignoring the fact that it might seem odd if he showered at night since he’d been showering in the mornings lately.  
He stepped in and only went back into the room when he had composed himself enough to get back into bed next to the person who had created the need for the stupid shower in the first place.

“Dan, is everything okay?” Phil asked when he got under the duvet.  
“Yeah, of course,” Dan tried to act like he hadn’t just done what he had just done and that he had enjoyed a completely innocent and normal shower. Nothing to see here.  
“You sure?” Phil asked.  
“Mhmm.”  
“Well..” he didn’t finish his sentence.  
“Are YOU okay, Phil?”  
“Yeah just… did you not want to cuddle?” he asked quietly.  
Dan was certain Phil was the cutest man to grace this trash planet. “Do you even know me?”

Dan wrapped his arms around the other, pressed his lips to his cheek, and closed his eyes. “G’night, Phil.”  
“Night, Dan.”  
Dan thought he heard something else as he drifted to sleep, but he couldn’t be sure.


	6. Day 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan decides to talk about his feelings... he figures, what does he have to lose?
> 
> Possibly everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I added another chapter, so it's gonna be 8 instead of 7. (I didn't wanna rush the resolution!)
> 
> Thank you all so much for your kind words and encouragement! The new chapter would have been up yesterday if AO3 hadn't gone down, so I appreciate your patience! 
> 
> So much angst I'm so sorry I promise there'll be a happy ending

_“Dan! Come on! There’s the elephants, so we’re like so close to the lion exhibit,”_  
_“Patience, Phil,” he’d kept a straight face._  
_“Dan, you’ve been saying that all day, come on!” he’d grabbed his arm and tugged him along._  
_Dan giggled, “Alright, you overgrown five year old. Lead the way.”_  
_He figured if there was ever a time he gave Phil the i’d-like-to-thank-whoever-blessed-me-with-this-loser’ face, it was probably then._  
_And yet, most things Phil did made him wonder what he did to deserve such a wonderful light in his life._

—

“Dan?” Phil waved a hand in front of his face.  
He blinked, suddenly aware that they were in their room, not at the zoo, and Phil may have asked him a question. “Sorry, what?”  
“You were super zoned out, what are you thinking about?”  
“Oh just The Animal Kingdom.”  
“Yeah? Do you want me to ask what your favorite part of the day was?” he joked.  
“When you were pulling me toward the lions because you couldn’t wait two more minutes,” he answered.  
Phil furrowed his brow, “Huh?”  
Dan just shrugged.  
“Seriously? We saw all those cool animals and that was your favorite part of the day?”  
Dan took a seat at the edge of the bed, “Yeah.”  
“Why’s that?”  
Dan avoided the question, “Why didn’t we ever do it, Phil?”  
“What?” he scrunched up his nose, “Dan what are you even talking about?”  
“US, Phil. Come on, why didn’t you ever ask me out? I mean I get why you didn’t back THEN but what about… after. When we knew each other better?”  
“Erm…”  
“I mean, I spend all of my time with you anyway. I definitely care about you more than pretty much anyone else. Why didn’t we ever go for it?”  
“Where did this all come from?” Phil looked a bit frantic.  
“I’ve just been thinking about it. I just wondered why we never even… talked about it.”  
“I uh… I don’t know what there would have been to say. I mean…” he sighed, “wouldn’t there have to be some sort of mutual physical attraction for that to even work?”  
The look on Phil’s face broke his heart. “Right,” Dan bit his lip. “Right.” He should have taken it seriously when Phil said all the kissing and closeness was just for practice.  
“Maybe…” Phil started, “Maybe we should just call this off now.”  
Dan swallowed and tried to compose himself so he wouldn’t be snappy, “So, you mean to tell your mum we broke off our engagement on vacation and then we have to act all awkward and distant?”  
“No, I just meant…”  
“Oh, that we should stop sucking face behind closed doors, because it’s unnecessary since we lack a mutual attraction,” he amended.  
Phil nodded weakly.  
Dan then nodded in response and grabbed his phone, “I’ll be back.”  
“Dan… it’s okay, where are you going?” Phil tried.  
All he got was the door shutting probably much harder than it needed to be.

He barely made to the elevator before he just felt so exhausted that he didn’t want to move. He hit the button to go to the ground level and sat in a chair in the lobby, feeling sorry for himself. What a horrible ending to a great day. Deep down, he had known that Phil didn’t feel the same way and it would have been so much better if he hadn’t said anything. But he figured it would be worth the risk if maybe Phil was just a brilliant actor who was hiding his undying love for this best friend.

He checked his phone at some point and saw a few messages from Phil, which he ignored.

 _12:09 am_  
Dan, it’s really alright… please come back?

 _12:40 am_  
Dan I’m worried.

He didn’t have the heart to say anything. It wasn’t alright. He’d just embarrassed himself and put his heart on the line and been shot down. All because he’d imagined Phil’s reciprocation of feelings.

 _1:20 am_  
I get that you need space, but please let me know you’re okay?

Dan sent him a message saying he was alive and then put his phone on silent and back into his pocket.

When the hotel lobby began to brighten up and the sun began to peek through the windows, he decided he should probably get back to the room. He found that Phil had fallen asleep in what must have been an extremely uncomfortable position, on top of the covers, in the same clothes he’d been wearing all day. Dan grabbed a pillow and set to sleep on the floor, before he gave up and decided it would be better to do this now.

“Hey,” he placed a hand on Phil’s shoulder, “Wake up.”  
“Dan!” he exclaimed. He tried to sit up, but was clearly disoriented, so it took him a couple tries. “Dan, are you okay? M’sorry, it’s okay, it’s all okay. I don’t mind,” he babbled.  
He seemed so relieved, it made Dan sick to his stomach.  
‘ _You’re not allowed to worry about me, I’m upset with you_ ,’ he thought bitterly. Except he wasn’t bitter, deep down; he felt terrible that Phil had been up here alone for hours.

He wasn’t entirely sure what he would say if he opened his mouth. “Phil,” he began, unable to read what the other might be thinking, “Look, I’m sorry for storming out. I was going to be a dramatic, brooding idiot, but I just… kinda sat downstairs for a few hours, I just needed some… time.”  
He knew that time was the wrong word, but he wasn’t entirely sure what he was even saying, he was so exhausted.  
“I tried to wait up for you…”  
Guilt, guilt, guilt. His pity party had Phil worried sick. He would much rather be run over by a truck than continue this conversation, “I made a fool of myself and I just needed some time to myself, everything’s… fine now. I’ve sorted it out.”  
“Are you okay, Dan?” he asked quietly.  
“M’fine Phil. Just tired,” he lied, “I’m gonna take a nap before we have to get up. We should be up in 4 hours if we’re going to get food before our flight leaves.”

“Dan?”  
“Yeah?” he looked over warily.  
“Are _we_ okay?”  
“We’re just fine,” he said. “C’mon, back to bed.”  
Phil crawled under the covers, followed soon by Dan. Neither bothered to change into more comfortable clothes.  
Dan felt a hand on his shoulder after he had closed his eyes, and when he opened them it was to find Phil, watery eyed and silent, looking at him questioningly.

He scooted closer and wrapped himself up in Phil's arms for what he figured would be the last time.


	7. Day 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time to go home and pretend none of this ever happened... 
> 
> (there's a temporary POV switch)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much, we're almost done. 
> 
> I figure while I'm writing the most cliché fic of all time, why not just add onto the clichés. 
> 
>  
> 
> I appreciate every single last one of you for reading and giving me feedback!  
> x

**Phil’s POV:**

At the airport, when they had all hugged and said their goodbyes, Phil took a deep breath, eyeing Dan cautiously. He’d spent the last week putting off thinking about what might happen when the trip was over, and now that it was here, he wasn't sure what to expect. He’d told himself that it would all be fine, until he and Dan had a fight— or whatever the hell that was— and today he’d been so focused on acting chipper in front of his family, that he really didn’t have much time to think.

They didn’t talk much on the way to their gate, and once they were on the plane, Dan rested his head on Phil’s shoulder and dozed off in no time. He wondered if it was a peace offering for storming out, or if he was reading far too much into this because he always ended up asleep on his shoulder.

Looking at the sleeping Dan on his shoulder, Phil didn’t know what to do from here. Really, he knew there was nothing left to do… Once they got home, their lives would resume just as they always had. No amount of pondering would change that, so he tried his best to tune out his thoughts and watch his movies in peace.

However, he was restless. He stopped the first movie before he was even 10 minutes in and opened iMessage on his computer, thanking his lucky stars that this flight had wifi.  
  
He wasn't even sure of who to talk to, the only person he wanted to talk to was asleep on his shoulder.  
He decided on someone he knew he could trust.

**_Phil_ **  
_Hey I know this is out of the blue, but I need some advice, if you don't mind._

**_Tyler_ **  
_What's up, Philly?_  
  
**_Phil_ **  
_It's a bit of a long story, am I interrupting anything?_

**_Tyler_**  
_Nope, I'm all ears._  
_Or should I say eyes, since I can't actually hear you._  
  
Phil smiled to himself and prepared to tell the tale of the weekend   
  
**_Phil_**  
_So Dan and I are on a flight back from Florida right now._  
_For some reason, when we saw my mum earlier this week, she thought we were a couple. I don't know what I said to make her think that, but she was asking when the big day was and if we had our colours picked out... And I was about to correct her when Dan just went along with it. (When I asked him about it later, he just panicked and didn't know what else to do.)_  
 _So we spent a whole week pretending to be engaged in front of my family. I figured if there was ever a time I had a free pass to unashamedly flirt with Daniel, that was it._  
 _I even asked him to kiss me and I was honestly really surprised when he did it. It escalated a few times but obviously we didn't..._  
 _Anyway Dan asked me yesterday why I never asked him out, and it broke my heart because he wouldn't have said yes, so what was the point of asking? So I told him there has to be a mutual attraction for a relationship to work... And he stormed out, I guess he was embarrassed or something._  
 _And now I'm sitting here feeling sorry for myself because I went and indulged my feelings I've been sitting on for years and now I'm kind of miserable._

_**Tyler**  
Oh wow. Well.. that doesn't sound like Dan, to say something so cold. He must not have known you have feelings for him when he asked why you guys never dated. You know he's your best friend and he loves you no matter what, he wouldn't just attack you like that to make fun of you. I think you need to sit and talk to him, ask him what was going on in his head. I promise you Dan wouldn't hurt you on purpose like that. _

_**Phil**  
I know he wouldn't, but that doesn't change the fact that it hurt and I don't know what to do now. Because either way, he isn't interested and I'm pining after him like a lovesick teenager. _

_**Tyler**  
Please just talk to him. I think you would both feel better if you got closure on the situation and maybe he could tell you what he was thinking. And maybe Dan needs to know how you feel about him. You never know what he could be feeling. _

_**Phil**  
You're right.. I just need to talk to him. It's kind of terrifying, though.  
  
**Tyler**  
Try new things?  
  
_ Phil smiled  
  
_**Phil**_  
 _Talking. That's new. I'll try it. Thanks, Tyler._  
  
_**Tyler**_  
 _Anytime, Philly._  
  
_When you're feeling better you have to tell me if Dan's a good kisser_  
  
_**Phil**_  
 _TYLER_

_**Tyler** _   
_SORRY BYE._

— 

 

It was four hours later when Dan woke, rubbing his eyes and stretching.  
Phil smirked at him, “Hello, sleepyhead.”  
“Mm. What time is it, then?”  
“Half past 7, Florida time.. Half midnight our time…. Tired much?”  
“Must have been, yeah. Have you slept?”  
“For maybe an hour.”  
“You were awake alone, why didn’t you wake me up?”  
“I just watched movies, it’s okay. You always sleep more on planes than I do,” he waved his hand dismissively.  
“Well what’s next on your film repertoire?”  
“I brought my Buffy DVDs,” Phil grinned.  
“Alright, let’s go.” Dan smiled and rested against Phil again.

Though he knew it was unfair, he couldn’t help that pang in his chest when Dan leaned on him. Everything had been fine before this trip, but now that he had a taste of what it was like to have him slightly more than platonically, he didn’t want to give that up. Even if a relationship between them wouldn’t work, that didn’t stop him from wanting it.

Between episodes, at one point, Phil asked Dan how things were gonna be from then on.  
Phil chickened out on saying all the things he wanted to, and they agreed to just pretend the weekend had never happened.

 

**Home: (Back to Dan's POV)**

Almost immediately when he got walked in the door to their flat, Dan headed straight for the bathroom. He turned on the shower and waited for the water to run warm before he got in. It had been a long weekend and he was physically and mentally exhausted, and on top of that, he was tired, hungry, and overall just ready to sleep.

He lay in bed after his shower and thought back to eight days ago when nothing was complicated and he was just going on holiday. But nothing was supposed to be complicated, now. They were back home, and in the grand scheme of things, nothing was different than it had been eight days ago.  
Phil would shower and go to bed, Dan would be up late thinking, and they would wake up tomorrow and go to the BBC in the afternoon, and then to a meeting in the evening, and life would resume exactly as it had before.

That was the problem, though. Dan had known from that first day that he wouldn’t want things to change… He didn't want things to go back to 'normal.'

He was angry with himself for letting things get so messy, why did he even tell Phil’s mum that they were engaged? What was the best possibly outcome of that scenario? Phil confesses his undying love to him and they just stay engaged? He wanted to chastise himself for thinking like a melodramatic 15 year old, but he was too upset to be rational. He blamed it on the jet lag and general exhaustion and even still, he was up until 5 am pacing and only slept two hours that night.


	8. Back Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They're home... and Dan is a miserable sad sack because unrequited love is the absolute worst thing in the entire world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much! We're done now.  
> If you'd like a "Day in the Life of Boyfriends: Dan and Phil, in London"-- I know a few people have asked me for that-- just let me know and I can write that for you.  
> This has been an emotional journey and I appreciate each comment, kudos, and bookmark. 
> 
> You're all lovely and thank you so much! 
> 
> Until next time  
> x

He stayed in his room silently until noon, which is when he figured he should start getting ready, to avoid being late. He hoped it wouldn’t be too obvious that he hadn’t slept, but Phil was bound to notice if no one else did. In retrospect, he figured it wasn’t the best idea to only sleep for two hours the night before he had a radio show to do-- and usually it was unlike him to be so unprofessional. However, he couldn’t bring himself to care too much, it was hardly his fault if he couldn’t sleep, after all.  

When they got in the cab, Dan couldn’t tell if the silence hanging in the air was awkward or if it was just him.   
But, despite the silent ride over, the show itself went off without a hitch.

Phil pulled Dan aside afterward, before they made their way down to grab a quick meal.  
“Are you okay?”  
“Tired,” he answered honestly.  
“Something's wrong,” he pressed.  
“Can’t we chalk it up to another _existential crisis_ and move on?” he quipped, walking down the corridor past the elevator.  
Phil followed close behind, “No because I know existential Dan and this is not existential Dan.”  
He stopped walking and turned around, “Then what exactly am I feeling, Dr. Phil?”  
He ignored the bad joke, “I don’t know, Dan, that’s why I’m asking.”  
He looked so sincere. Why did he have to care so much? Dan wanted to fly into the sun, “Since _when_? Can we just—” he took a breath and ran his hand down his face, “Can we talk about this later, I’m tired and hungry and we’ve got that meeting soon, and I just.. Don’t want to do this right now.”  
Phil relaxed slightly, “Alright, but I’m not letting this go.”  
Dan bit his tongue lightly to keep himself from snapping at Phil. He reminded himself that he really hadn’t done anything wrong and that lashing out was only going to make everything worse. He turned back around and began his trek back down the stairs.

Dan hopped in the back of the cab and Phil slid in next to him, leaving his hand quite obviously in the middle of them.  
Dan eyed him questioningly.  
“I don’t know how else to comfort you right now…” he said.  
Dan rolled his eyes but took Phil’s hand in his anyway, relishing in the feeling of Phil’s thumb rubbing soothing patterns against his. ‘ _I’m still on Florida time, does that count?_ ’ he thought to himself.

—

“Dan?” Phil asked on the way home from their meeting.  
“Sorry?” he looked up.  
“Get your head outta the clouds, Daniel,” Phil teased, “I asked when do you think we should fake break up. Something believable, before we see my mum again.”  
“My head’s not in the clouds, it’s in the game,” he said dramatically. “I don’t know, whatever you think is good,” he continued, keeping his gaze fixed out the window.  
“Like two months, we tell her we’re better off as friends or something?” Phil offered.  
“That’s like the least believable excuse ever.” he mumbled.  
“Huh?”  
He huffed and turned toward Phil, “She’s not gonna buy that.”  
Phil looked slightly offended, which made Dan slightly annoyed. Which he knew he should slightly feel bad about, but he didn’t.  
“We have to go with something believable,” he said.  
“Okay, do you have any ideas?” Phil asked.  
‘ _No, that’s why this sucks, because if we were actually together, we wouldn’t break up_.’ he thought. “I’ll think of something, my brain’s a bit fried right now, to be honest.”  
Phil let it go for the moment.

Dan let out a defeated sigh when they walked back into their flat, “I’m sorry. I’ve been kind of a dick today, and I could probably just play it off as jet lag, but no. I’m being a dick and I’m sorry.”  
“You’re not being a dick,”  
“I am, and I’m sorry.”  
“It’s okay. What’s bothering you so much?” Phil asked.  
"It's not important."  
"If you don't want to talk about it, say so. But if it's affecting you this much, it's important to you, which means it's important to me."  
“I just need some sleep, that’s all.”

And even still, he slept a grand total of 3 hours that night.

 

* * *

 

** The Day After The Day After **

 

Out of nowhere, he snapped. He didn’t mean to snap, but the next day when Phil asked, once again, what he should tell his mother, he yelled.  
“Oh my god Phil, if you’re so concerned about having an excuse of why we broke up for your mum, just tell her we had a fight and I’m moving out!”  
“But you’re not moving out,” he said, clearly startled at Dan’s outburst.  
“We can work that out later.”   
“Dan, you’re not moving out, that's less believable than the other thing, I’m not telling her that,” he rolled his eyes.  
“Maybe I should.”  
“I’m sorry… _what_?” Phil was as close to shouting as he ever got and Dan just wanted to keep pushing his buttons until he screamed.   
“Maybe I should move out, I mean it would make this lie so much easier and more realistic. I don't know, maybe living here isn’t good for me.”  
“Are you feeling okay, Dan? Because I really don’t understand what’s happening. Fine, I’ll stop asking. But you know that I get anxious about things when they’re not planned out. If you would stop avoiding the question and give me a straight answer...” he took a deep breath, trying to cool down, “You don’t need to start spouting nonsense about wanting to move out.”  
“It’s not entirely nonsense, Phil. It’s the only logical way to convince your mum we broke up. Maybe us living together doesn't  make sense.”  
“Or we just don't break up!” he cried in exasperation.  
“Phil, that’s a load of shit," Dan grumbled.  
“I’m being _pretty serious_.” Phil looked determined to win this stare down.

Dan looked at him blankly, because there was no way he was serious... wanting to pretend to be a couple every time they were around his parents… He tried to keep his expression unreadable. 

“Dan,” he started, “this is so ridiculous—“ he whispered. 

He looked Dan in the eyes and spoke up, “I’m just gonna go with some advice I got recently and just talk to you….  We don't talk as much as maybe we should about things that are really important I just...." he stopped and sighed. "I’m so pathetically head over heels for you that it hurts sometimes. I mean, everyone knows it. It’s easy to pretend that we’re just friends, we’ve been doing it for 6 years, but it’s always been more than that… right? Neither of us has been on so much as a date with anyone else.. and that whole time we have been dancing around something that could be the best choice we ever make. And call me crazy, but I’m pretty sure two totally platonic friends wouldn’t jump so easily on board to the idea of being engaged just for the sake of one of their mothers…  
"So, okay, we don’t have to get married or stick any sort of ‘forever’ on it, but can’t it just be us? Can’t we just be together? I mean…” he let out a breath, “I don’t know I know I’m not like Zayn Malik or… Evan Peters or anything, but… Couldn’t we.. Isn’t there any way…” he trailed off, gauging Dan’s reaction. “Like we could even be one of those couples that never… I mean..” he exhaled loudly, “I don’t know.”

Dan figured he was probably dreaming, because there was no way that his Phil was standing in front of him saying these things.  
“Phil, I—” he took a deep breath, “I can’t… I mean I—”   
Overwhelmed with emotion and confusion, he thought about the last few years, Phil had always been a part of his future, even when they’d first met. Eventually the idea of a spouse just seemed silly; when someone asked if he would ever get married, he’d say no and think it was a ridiculous notion that someday he wouldn’t be living with Phil. It’s always been _him_. But those words Phil said two days ago rang in his ears as a painful reminder that he couldn’t have any of that.  
  
“I mean.. Yeah I.. I mean you must know.. I just.. thought we lacked a mutual attraction or whatever? Do you really want to be with someone you don’t really want to.. erm.. be with?”  
Phil looked puzzled, quirking his head to the side until his hand flew to his mouth. “Oh my god,” his eyes went wide, “Oh, Dan. I am an idiot.”  He looked like he was stifling a laugh, and Dan was thoroughly confused and mildly worried he was being tricked.   
“Before… you thought I meant that _I_ wasn’t attracted to _you_.” Phil stated it like a fact rather than a question.  
  
Dan just looked at him like he had three heads, which would have made about as much sense as anything he was saying. 

“I thought—“ he shook his head and let out a breathy laugh, “No, oh no... I only said that because I didn’t think you were attracted to me.”  
“Wh. uhm… What?”   
“Oh no, the other day…. that must have sounded so horrible! Me saying that to you… and that’s why you stormed out, and… OH.”  
Dan just stared as Phil took his hand, “Dan. Oh no! I want you. So badly….” the look of desperation in Phil’s eyes was going to kill him, “Like.. the first time I kissed you, I knew I was fucked because I didn’t want to stop. And when you said you wanted to go along with this and you didn’t seem to mind practice-kissing me, I just… I enjoyed pretending so much… I spent all weekend wishing that you really wanted me the way I wanted you.”

“Are you being serious?”   
  
"100%” Phil said. 

“Phil?”

“Yeah?” he held his breath. 

He swallowed hard, “Phil, of _course_ I want you… You must know that. You are literally everything to me and I can’t see myself not by your side. And, fuck, I don’t know how you didn’t see how attracted I was to you this weekend, I had to physically restrain myself from pouncing on you… on more than one occasion.” 

He was fairly certain the smile that broke out on Phil’s face could cure cancer, make flowers grow, and give light to the sun. “Do you… like.. wanna have a date? We can just order takeout and sit on the floor, I don’t care.” Phil asked, stepping closer. 

“ _We…_." he said the word, feeling like flowers were blooming in his chest, "Yeah, anything with _us_.. that sounds like the best kind of date.” Dan was pretty sure his smile matched Phil’s, his heart felt like it might burst out of his chest.  
“Could I kiss you first?” Phil asked.  
“I’d be offended if you didn’t," he teased.

Phil hesitated and pulled Dan in for a hug first, then he took Dan’s face gently in his hands, “I love you.”

Dan’s breath caught in his throat. He could never have imagined those words sounding so beautiful, even coming from the most beautiful man he’d ever met. He looked him in the eyes when he said something he never figured he'd get to say to him out loud, “I love you, too.”

“Always,” Phil added hastily.

“Since that very first day,” he agreed. Dan smiled before pressing a kiss to his best friend’s lips. 

 

Because that’s what they were and what they had always been before anything else. Best friends. 

 

They just happen to also be lovers. (Not the other way around.) 

 


End file.
